[PSL -- For Superchill] -- Confrontation

[thunderingpeace]

Part One
Part Two

 

[It had been a week since that time in Kacchan's apartment. A week since the kiss, a week since they'd had breakfast together, and a week since they parted on an almost too-casual note, Izuku walking out the door ahead of his friend so as not to embarrass them both.

Also, to...well. To give Kacchan some room. Some breathing space.

Because they weren't anything, not really. Friends? Definitely. Lovers? Possibly someday. They'd definitely enjoyed kissing each other, and spooned each other when they slept for fuck's sake. Izuku had wanted something more, but Kacchan needed time, and he was perfectly willing to give him time.

No. Really. Don't give him that look. Just because he'd had a rocking dumpster fire of a romantic life before this didn't mean that he was going to make this go in flames because of his own awkwardness and thirst.

And then...well. One thing led to another. 

Specifically, his mother happened. She'd collapsed one day while at work -- after Izuku graduated, she'd taken to working again in order to fill the gaps left by her son's absence, and her own loneliness -- and he'd left immediately to go and see her. 

Her heart was weak. They weren't sure if it was her weight, the anxiety of having her son out of the house and her husband overseas, a deeper issue, or a combination of all of them, but couldn't do as much as she used to. She needed help.

Izuku had jumped at the chance. Taken strange hours -- mostly graveyard shift -- and had to cancel his social plans so that he could be with his mother during the day, work at night, and get what little sleep he could before he had to wake up and do it all over again.

This went on for a week.

He hadn't texted or called anyone. He hadn't had the time. He had to talk to his superiors to switch his hours, he had to commisserate with the doctor about his mother's medications and how long she would need to be supervised before she could start living independently again (his father hadn't even been contacted -- but Izuku had enough issues with his father, and really didn't want to think about him right now), had to start putting aside money for both her rent and his, had to move himself into his old room with the too-tiny, uncomfortable bed and always made sure to keep the door open in case she needed him.

He was a wreck.

His eyes were sunken in, he'd only eaten the bare minimum that he needed to function, and while coffee and energy drinks got him through his shift with minimal effort, he knew he wasn't at the top of his game. He'd planned on telling someone, really, but he didn't want to make anyone worry until he was settled, and by the time things started rolling he was so caught up in the wave that he couldn't stop.

He shook when he woke up, some days, and had to force himself to stop the exhausted tremors. His two off-days a week were the only days when he could sleep, but it was restless and short, so he spent his time working out or taking extra hours at the agency just to fill the time.

He missed everyone.

Most of all, he missed Kacchan.]

Comments

[thunderingpeace]

[He had expected...something. He wasn't sure what, but when he saw Kacchan's eyes on his, and the way he stopped, Izuku had braced himself, waiting for the inevitable.

He'd followed -- it was an ingrained habit at this point, born of years upon years of practice.

He waited.

For what?

An explosion? Even Kacchan wouldn't yell at him when his mother was laid out, but Izuku had no excuses. He knew he'd fucked up, and that he should have told someone, or at least told him, and he would talk to everyone later--

--but then he was grabbed by the front of the shirt, he was pulled closer, and then wrapped in the most awkward hug he'd ever been in in his life. Kacchan's arms were stiff, his back was straight, and his hands patted him in the single most stiff way he'd ever been patted in his life.

He wasn't sure if his heart mended or broke in that moment.

Both. It both mended and broke and he didn't even need to think. He wrapped his arms around Kacchan's waist, gripped the back of his shirt, and pulled him close, closer, closest--

He was shaking, but he didn't care. Kacchan was warm, hugging him, and he could let go for just a moment, he could be that scared little boy for just a few minutes, could let himself go...]

Kacchan...I'd never.

[There was a bit of wetness in his voice, though he wasn't quite crying yet.]

[superchill]

[Yup, Deku definitely takes care of the rest of that hug.

Bakugou knows he's shit at this but maybe just letting Deku know it's ok is important? Seems like it, because Deku is hugging him to death right now.

When he starts shaking, Bakugou tries to make more of an effort to be less stiff, his arms relaxing a bit more around him.

He hopes he can radiate all of his warmth into Deku as well. He knows how much warm helps when you're tired.]

I know.

How's your mom?

[thunderingpeace]

Sleeping, for now. She was up for a while, but after dinner, she was finally able to get some sleep.

[as Kacchan's arms relaxed, Izuku found himself melting against him, the tension easing from his shoulders. He felt comfortable here, like he could be himself.]

She'll be mostly bedridden for a while, but she has to do some light exercise every day to strengthen her heart. I've been leading her through that, since I'm home during the day now.

[His hold on Kacchan loosened just a little, and let out a soft exhale of breath.]

She's gonna be okay. I'll be there for her.

[superchill]

Do they know what caused it? Is she taking medications now?

[Bakugou doesn't actually know anything about this, but the basic idea is all the same. It's strange, having someone be sick for regular reasons. They've been around hospital beds to visit their friends and fellow heroes countless times, but he can't even remember if there's been anyone he's know go to the hospital for regular reasons.

He rests his chin on Deku's head and holds him a little tighter when his hold loosens. ]

She sure as hell is gonna be okay. She's strong, she always has been. I mean, she'd have to be to raise someone like you.

[In the past he probably would've meant that sarcastically, but this time he means it as the absolute truth. ]

[thunderingpeace]

The doctor thinks it's a combination of things. Stress and bad diet, mostly -- Mom's always been nervous, and with me out of the house and Dad never bothering to show his face or call, she's been a lot more stressed out.

[Part of him regrets moving out--if he'd stayed close by, maybe she wouldn't have gotten so stressed. He'd already put her through so much during his time at UA, and with him doing this as a full time job and still getting into regular scrapes with villains...well.

He was just thankful that heroes had amazing medical insurance.]

She's taking medication to help with her blood pressure and anxiety right now, and about four more for her heart. The doctor wants me to let Dad know, but you can probably guess how that turned out.

[No answer, and a message on voicemail. He hadn't called Izuku back--not that he ever did. If he hadn't been sending money in every so often and apparently talked to his mother once or twice, Izuku would have wondered if he even existed at all.

Aizawa and All Might were closer to him in this regard than his own biological parent. Not that anyone knew. Kacchan was the only one to really know about him, and Izuku avoided all questions with a strained 'it's complicated' that usually shut the questioner up.

But Kacchan's words have him pause. That was...probably the single nicest thing Kacchan had ever said.

His face heated up, his heart beat fast...

And his shoulders shook, almost violently, as he began to sob in Kacchan's arms.]

Kacchan...!

[superchill]

You better not be blaming yourself for this, shitty Deku. It's not your fault, you know. Our lives can be stressful as fuck, yeah. But it's what we wanna do and they know that. Your mom knows that.

[ He can already see the blame spiral Deku is probably in. All the shit that went down at UA, moving out, being pro heroes. It can wear at someone, but wouldn't it have been worse if they never did it at all? ]

Yeah... I can guess.

[But that means Deku has to take all of this on, on his own and clearly that's not working either. He wonders if Deku had even talked to All Might about this. Probably not. For some reason Deku really is trying to take all of this on by himself and it's not right.

He should have known the waterworks were gonna be a thing, but he's never had Deku literally cry in his arms before. It twists in his gut in such a weird way and he knows the anger that slams into him is just because that's always been his first reaction to intense emotional situations that were out of his league. But since then, he's learned that he doesn't have to let that anger take over. That there are ways to channel it away from the emotions he's actually feeling.

Right now those emotions are sadness. A deep ache. But also determination]

Deku... it's okay. It's gonna be okay. You're not... alone, you know? You're not. You don't have to do any of this alone. I'm gonna help you out.

[thunderingpeace]

[Of course he was. Had he ever done anything else when it came to others' wellbeing?

He took Todoroki's family issues onto himself.

He took the blame for Kacchan's kidnapping onto himself.

He was perfectly willing to fight Stain alone until the pros or his classmates got there.

He was willing and able to take care of this. It was the least he could do after all she had done for him. He was a grown man, he could handle this. These things happened; it was a natural part of getting older.

He just wasn't ready for a scare like this. Not like this.

Kacchan's arms held him steady; a warm, safe sanctuary from his feelings, his problems...hell, himself. He could spend forever here, maybe.

He'd wanted to fight back against Kacchan's insistence that he held no blame in this, because he did, even if it wasn't all of it, but his last words gave him pause.

"You're not alone."
"I'm gonna help you out."

Izuku pulled away, just slightly. Just enough to stare up at Kacchan, so many emotions swirling in his eyes.

There was a question there, relief, and longing.]

[superchill]

[ Yeah, Bakugou knows that. He knows damn well that Deku has always run out to save everyone else before himself. Always.

It's what makes him the best hero, but also lousy at taking care of himself.

He knows Deku can handle it to a certain extent, but then he'll still end up running himself into the ground. It's okay to ask for help, his counselor always tells him. At first he outright dismissed the entire thing, of course, but over time... well, he realized that maybe in some cases that might not be true.

He still holds fast to not asking for help in some areas- cooking for instance, or more personal thing (so yeah, he understands why Deku didn't ask, but still). But if he's in a jam out on the job? He knows better than to try and take it all on by himself anymore. That's just not what Pro-Heroes do.

When Deku pulls back to look at him, all tear faced and big eyes, Bakugou frowns, pushing his hair off his face. He wants to kiss him, he really does, but Deku is in such a vulnerable and emotional state right now, Bakugou doesn't know if it would be fair.]

I called the Agency on my way over here. I worked some things out. You're not going in for the next two days and don't you fucking even try to argue it. I was gonna push for longer, but I figured we'd see where to go from there. I switched my shifts around so when you're off, I'm on and vice versa, and you don't get all the shitty shifts, so you'll be able to sleep more. So we can take turns watching your mom and making sure she's okay.

Also, you're gonna let me help you pay for stuff so you're not working overtime. I have extra cash tucked away from all my sponsorships. I was saving it for a rainy day or whatever the fuck that expression is. That's what this is. Don't argue that either or I'll blast you all the way back to UA.

[thunderingpeace]

[His eyes widened, and he looked struck dumb -- because let's face it, he was. Kacchan had just offered to--

No, he hadn't just offered, he did--

He negotiated with the agency on his behalf, he'd done this for him, like it didn't mean anything. No skin off his ass, just telling Izuku to sleep the next two days, and then they would work everything out later. He wanted to alternate shifts, help take care of his mother, holy hell!

He was furious. What right did he have to decide this for him behind his back?!

He was floored. He did this without hesitation. Bakugou Katsuki did this without hesitation, just...hey, I'm going to take time and effort out of my day to help you, no questions asked.

He was completely and utterly in love with this insufferable, smug, handsome, emotionally constipated fucking firecracker of a man.

His eyes steeled with fire and resolve. His tears were not quite dry.]

Kacchan...

[his hold on him tightened.]

I can't believe you. You did that behind my back?! Without telling me? And you're telling me that they approved it?!

You're doing--you did--this! All of it! If I didn't love you, I wouldn't know whether to punch or hug you!

[He lets out an aggravated, frustrated sigh. But his eyes aren't angry. They're fond. Frustrated. A mix of liquid warmth and passionate fire.]

You--I--!

[He moves his hands away from Kacchan's waist to loop around his neck, staring into his eyes before pressing his mouth against his in an emotional, but gentle kiss.]

[superchill]

[ If it were him in Deku's place, Bakugou would be furious. Absolutely furious. So he gets it- it's a normal reaction.

He really did just do all of this without asking Deku first- because it's not an asking kind of situation. Sometimes Deku needs someone to tell him to stop. Whether it's All Might, Recovery Girl, or... now him. And he's damn sure Inko would appreciate it too.

Bakugou is sure she would be ten times more worried if she knew what Deku was doing so he could help her out. She's his mother, after all.

He can see that furiousness in Deku's eyes, along with a cascade of several other emotions. It's fine. He can handle all of it, whatever Deku says. It isn't going to change a damn thing. ]

Of course I did. You wouldn't have done it. You've been going on like this for a week without any help. You think I'm gonna just sit back and watch this? They agreed to. You have to give them the final approval, but you're gonna do that, so it's as good as set in stone.

[He wants to continue, but Deku's words don't go unnoticed and he stops. It all kind of slows down after that. Fond, frustrated, passionate- yeah, he's pretty sure that's exactly what this is.

If only he could get his brain to work again.

Before he knows it, Deku is kissing him and his eyes go wide for a moment before he snaps them closed and attempts to kiss back.]

[thunderingpeace]

[He needed this. He needed this so much, and he didn't even know how badly, not until their lips touched and a fire lit within his stomach, chest--everywhere.

As he moved his lips against Kacchan's, moving one hand to massage his scalp as he pressed closer, Izuku moaned. For just a little bit, he wanted to feel, and keep feeling, and just lose himself in it and Kacchan, and forget the rest of the world existed.

Right now, he wasn't a pro-hero. Or a son. Or a man dealing with the weight of others on himself.

He was just a man in love, kissing someone else and basking in their warmth, and hoping to All Might that he felt as good about this as he did.

His kiss is no less gentle, but that need bleeds through it.

It's okay to kiss him right now, he tells himself. Kacchan isn't pushing me away. He wants this, too.

[superchill]

[ Bakugou's head is still buzzing from those words.

Holy shit. holy fucking shit.

Deku probably doesn't even realize what he said. It all came out in a tired flurry of emotions that seemed to culminate in relief. But those words... they were a part of it.

Does he really mean it? Is it just an expression? It has to be, right? But even then, what the fuck?

He's trying to kiss back as best as he can because he wants to be kissing back, but his brain keeps stalling. He doesn't think he's ever been this stunned in his life. Well... since the last time he was stunned, which was about a week ago in the fruit aisle at the grocery store.

Yeah, Deku seems to be in the habit of doing this to him.

But then- Deku moans. He moans against his lips, pressing in closer and really, what the fuck is he supposed to do? He's never done anything like this before, not even remotely and jesus fuck, he's touch starved, because the moaning, the pressing in closer, it does him in.

Bakugou moves his hands into Deku's hair and then he kisses back for real this time. He kisses back hard, and deep and needy as hell.

He wants this, Deku. He definitely wants this.

It only vaguely occurs to him that they're in Deku's childhood home, with his mother right upstairs. None of that matters right now as he lets go of all his damn control, his hands heating up against Deku's scalp.]

[thunderingpeace]

[Oh God. Oh fuck.

Kacchan was touching his hair, he was kissing back -- not gently, but hard, with as much passion as he was -- and Izuku's entire body was about ready to burn from everything.

This was so good.

So, so good.

Izuku moans again, needy and heavy into his kiss.]

Kacchan--

[He whispered his name against his lips like a plea, but it feels wrong. He should be saying something else, something more intimate -- his head was fuzzed, but his heart and body were holding the reigns, leading the hand that's not in Kacchan's hair to slide down and slip under his shirt, clinging to his bare back with need and purpose.]

Katsuki.

[Yeah, that's what he should be saying. His mouth moved against Kacchan's, matching him depth for depth, passion for passion.

He'd never kissed anyone this deep, this good before. Ochaco was the closest, but even at their most intimate did he feel like he was burning alive from the inside.]

Don't stop. Please.

[superchill]

[ It really is good. So good.

The kiss on the couch was already incredible, but this? This has a fiery passion to it that Bakugou can feel so deep inside of him- like it's a part of him, revitalizing and waking parts of himself that he didn't even know were so hidden away.

It's definitely a lot.

His name doesn't sound strange on Deku's lips, just different- more intimate. A hell of a lot more intimate. Even more so than the hand creeping up under his shirt, holding onto him.

Bakugou has always fought his way away from touch, but now he's leaning into it and pressing closer to Deku. He doesn't want to stop, just as much as Deku is begging him not to.

He starts moving, pushing Deku back against the counter until he's got him tight against it, kissing him deeper as his hands tug at those green curls, tilting Deku's head back a little more. That's when he breaks the kiss and starts moving his lips down Deku's jaw, down his neck. Deku feels just as warm as he does. ]

[thunderingpeace]

[Kacchan was amazing.

No, really. Kissing him on the mouth like this was already amazing, but then Kacchan started moving, and Izuku moved right in step with him. Wanted to, had to.

One step forward, one step back. It could have been choreographed; it was so natural. So right.

And then he was against the counter. Izuku usually took the lead, took control, in moments like this. He never minded it -- in fact, he loved being able to take care of his partner, and make them feel better than they'd ever felt. But right now, he didn't mind being pinned, being caged in by Kacchan's body as he pressed against him and...

Oh. Oh. That was his neck.

He'd wanted to say something, some encouragement, some praise, something to know that Kacchan was giving him something that he'd never felt, made him feel better than he'd ever felt in his life, but his words came out as a needy whine of his name -- his real name.

Both of his hands were under his shirt now, gently running over his back and shoulders with those featherlight touches he'd used while massaging.]

--so good.

[It was all he managed to whimper out, but he had to say it, had to tell him. Had to encourage whatever was going on right now. Kacchan was kissing him and he felt so fucking hot and precious and in love that nothing else existed but them. Nothing else could exist.]

[superchill]

[ Bakugou can tell how much Deku is liking this just by the sounds he's making.

Those sounds increase when he starts moving his kisses down along Deku's neck and he wonders if he's going to have to put a hand over his mouth very soon. Or maybe just put his mouth back over Deku's. That would work too.

But not yet. He has to kiss along more of Deku's skin and definitely touch more, sliding his hands down the other man's neck, down his chest.

He can feel his own skin come alive with the way Deku's featherlight touches get to the core of him. Even these light touches get him going so much. ]

Yeah... fuck, it really is.

[He says against Deku's skin before catching his lips in another kiss, his hips rocking against him before he can stop himself. But they're in Deku's kitchen- his mother's kitchen and he has to stop himself, pulling away from the kiss, searching Deku's face as he tries to catch his breath.]

We can't... not here. Fuck. This is your mom's kitchen.

[thunderingpeace]

[WOW, Kacchan.

Just, wow. Had to remind Izuku where they were while he's hard as a rock and ready to rip your clothes off, huh?

Look at those eyes, Kacchan. Those green eyes lidded, glowing with love, desire, and need? That face with parted, soft pink lips?

Yeah, that was your doing.

But everything hit Izuku like a freight train -- the situation, Kacchan, the fact that they were about to have sex in his mother's kitchen. His face shifted from clouded lust, to frustration, to realization, to embarrassment in seconds flat.]

...Oh.

[His hands slipped out from under his shirt, wrapping around Kacchan's middle like that was the most natural thing in the world.]

Y-yeah, uh. I got a little...excited? I mean, I always love kissing you, Kacchan, really, but like, it was so amazing this time. Like, more than other times! You had so much passion and you're really gorgeous but you're right, this isn't exactly the best place to be doing this. I mean, with you, I want it to be special, you know? Not that kissing or touching you isn't special, but I would want this to be in a comfortable bed, and I'd need to be better prepared because I don't have any lube or condoms here or anything. I mean, I've never done this with a man before, but I'd assume the backdoor is the same for everyone regardless, and--

[Leans forward to give Kacchan a soft, chaste kiss, and smiles awkwardly.]

Okay. I'm good. I'm good now. I think. Yeah.

[But he made no effort to move away. He didn't want to, not yet. Just wanted to stay close to Kacchan for a few more minutes.]

[superchill]

[ He isn't exactly thrilled about this either.

Bakugou doesn't want to stop, but he also doesn't want to do this right here in the kitchen, even if it's not sex, even if they don't go all the way, it's still something.

But it's damn hard (all of him is, too), because Deku looks at him with such desire, looking like that, and it takes everything inside Bakugou to not go right back in for another kiss, or lift him up on the counter to be able to move his mouth all over him.

No.

He waits till the realization hits Deku and when it does, boy, he gets a whole lot more. He didn't even really think about the special part- but he also didn't think about the rest of it either, because he's never done this before, but Deku hasn't either and then.... wait. ]

Whaaa? You've never done this with a guy before? I thought you fucking did!

[Not that it's a bad thing. He's kind of relieved. He knows Deku has been with women so he's not a virgin, but if he's never been with a guy before, that means both of their first times will be together. Yeah, he's pretty damn sure their first times will be together, even though they still haven't talked about where they stand.

He moves his hands to Deku's waist as well, but he has to take a step back, because they're just too close and he's too heated for that level of closeness without doing anything.]

[thunderingpeace]

[Oh, thank GOD. That's what he took out of that long ramble-fest of epic proportions, not that Izuku was prone to oversharing or having his brain completely leak out his ears.

Deep breaths, Izuku. Come on, deep breaths...don't focus on Kacchan's warm body pressed flush against--OH THANK GOD HE MOVED. If he'd stayed closer any longer, Izuku's hips would have started moving on their own, and he really didn't want to rut against his--something in the middle of his mother's kitchen like an animal in heat.

He just didn't, okay?

Izuku laughed, but it was an awkward one. He would have scratched his head, but his hands wanted to be right where they were, thank you. He was not in the mood to move them away.]

Er...no, um. I haven't. I mean, I wanted to! But you're the first guy that I've ever...loved. You know?

I don't want to do--you know--this sort of thing with someone I don't love.

[All right, so.

New plan: Don't use the "L" word when talking with someone that you're not dating yet. Yet? Possibly.

The word came out so naturally, though, and there was no dishonesty in it. He'd just wished that, maybe he could have let the word slip in a more romantic situation.]

[superchill]

[ Trust me, Deku. It's better he focuses on that, rather than the backdoor comment.

It's not that he doesn't know how it works, of course- he just hasn't considered the logistics of it yet. He'll figure it out when the time comes, of course, but right now that feels like a few steps ahead.

And that awkward laugh of Deku's... god, it's fucking cute. He doesn't know when he started thinking that instead of how he wanted to punch Deku for it, but... he's certain glad it's changed.

He opens his mouth to comment when Deku says it again. Twice.

He really doesn't realize it, does he? He can't, can he? Same train of thought as earlier. Bakugou's brain just seems to stall at the words. He's trying to keep his cool, but it's a lot for someone like him. ]

But we just... I mean... how do you even... ARGH. Fuck. How the fuck can you love me?? You only just told me you liked me!

[thunderingpeace]

Because I don't know what else to call it!

[Well, that could have gone better. Come on, Izuku, you had a speech in your head and everything for when you were going to confess how deeply you loved Kacchan. You'd thought about it that night while texting Uraraka, while staying up late on his couch, while walking to work that morning.

You can do this, Izuku.]

This isn't like...a crush to me. When I have a crush on someone, I get a lot more anxious. My palms sweat, I feel uncomfortable, and I never know what to say. Kisses are nice, but nerve-wracking.

With you, it's different. It's always been different with you, but here, it's just--

[Breathe in. Breathe out. Don't ramble, don't ramble, don't ramble--]

Look. I've been in relationships before, you know this. When we kissed, it felt like nothing I'd ever felt before. And it's not because we're both guys. It's because it was you. Kissing you felt like using Full Cowling for the first time, except with my heart, body, and soul on fire. I feel happier when I'm around you than I have around anyone else. I look forward to seeing you, and when I go to bed at night I wish I could see your face when I wake up in the morning. I want to eat dinner together, to make breakfast together, to be able to be with each other the way we were in your apartment every single day. Being with you feels like I've gained something that I didn't know I'd lost. It feels comfortable and right.

Kacchan, I feel for you in a way that I have not felt for anyone else in my entire life. What else could that be but love?

[Okay, so you embarrassed yourself AND rambled. Good job, Izuku.]

[superchill]

[ That... is definitely a speech, alright.

It's different from Deku's usual muttering, because that's not what this is at all. It's a thought out, from the heart kind of speech and if Bakugou didn't know what to do with himself and this information before, he knows even less now.

He just stands there and gapes a little, taking it all in. ]

Holy shit.

[That's his first response, because what else can he say?

Deku loves him. Loves him. Bakugou is still trying to figure out this like thing and Deku already loves him. He needs to sit down. He backs up a little and moves to sit in one of the chairs by the table. Yeah, he's never felt this unsteady in his life.]

But I hurt you so badly for so many fucking years.

[He's still thinking about that. How can he not? It went on for ages and he knows he hasn't even come close to making up for any of it.

But the scariest part is... some of what Deku says actually makes sense. ]

[thunderingpeace]

[Izuku was unsteady on his feet, too. He was exhausted, but this moment, this need to make Kacchan understand kept him coherent. Kept him awake.

He wobbled towards Kacchan, pulling out a chair and setting it by his side, so he could look him in the eye.

He grabbed his hand, ran his thumb over the top.

Connection. Izuku needed to be connected with him this time. This was all nerve-wracking, and he wasn't exactly the best person to do this (he was an awkward mess at most things, love included), but Kacchan deserved this.

That same determination that brought him through the rest of his life could help him here.]

I know. I'm not going to say that you weren't. But that's not who you are now. You haven't been that asshole since...the beginning of our first year in UA.

I can admit it now: I had a crush on you when we were in Junior High. I still had a crush on you in High School. I didn't realize that's what I felt, but I can look back and admit that's what was going on. As...embarrassing as that is, honestly.

But we've both grown up, and become who we were truly supposed to be all along, I think.

Look, I...what I'm trying to say is...I liked who you were before. I love who you are now.

And I think...I don't know. You can laugh at me if you want, but...I have a feeling that it's always been you. You've been the only one I've ever really wanted. That's what Ochaco had to have meant when she broke up with me that night, since she didn't want to compete 'with someone else' for me.

[He gave Kacchan's hand a squeeze.]

[superchill]

[ Bakugou looks at Deku when he sits there taking his hands in his. He looks tired, but determined and Bakugou isn't sure if this is the right time for all of this, but... when else would be the right time if not now?

He has no fucking clue what to think anymore.

He feels like he was that asshole for a lot longer than the beginning of their first year. He still feels like an asshole most of the time, though he knows he's trying to do better. It's not something he can forget easily, nor should he want to, he knows that.

And all this time, Deku has had a crush on him. All this time, Bakugou held on so tightly to his pride that he never let himself see any of this.

All this time, and maybe Bakugou could have felt the same way.

Well, he does now. Well. Mostly. He's still trying to work through the liking Deku part, but here Deku is, telling him he loves him. That he loves who he is now.

That he's the only one Deku ever really wanted. So that's why Ochaco broke up with him all those years ago. Oh.]

I... don't even know what the fuck to say.

[This is supposed to be a good thing, isn't it? It just feels so damn odd to him. It's such a shift from what he's used to and it's throwing him off. He's annoyed because he doesn't like being thrown off, especially when he can't figure how to work around it. But this is different than a skill, or trying to figure out the enemy. This is dealing with something he doesn't have a damn clue about.]

[thunderingpeace]

[Izuku squeezed his hand again.]

You don't have to say anything, Kacchan.

[He didn't want a romantic speech out of him, or...anything, really. Izuku just...what? Wanted him to know?

It was clear that they felt something far greater than friendship for each other. They practically had sex in the middle of the kitchen just a little while ago.]

I already know that you care. You show me all the time, through the things that you do. That's enough for me.

[It was enough, though Izuku could admit that a small part of him wanted more.

He wanted to hear those three little words.

He wanted Kacchan to call Izuku his.

But he didn't need those things, not really. What they had now was enough.]